It'll Be Fine
by Notori the Storm Wolf
Summary: All twelve HiMEs on vacation after the Carnival. A story from Shizuru's POV as she reconciles with herself and others, all while learning to be welcome in this strange new group which she had never gotten to be a part of. One by one, the girls help each other overcome hurt, set to the backdrop of a beach trip with only one rule: No bringing up the past.
1. The Golden Rule

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai HiME.

A/N: I don't always write post-Carnival fics. But when I do, I retcon the last episode. XD This fic isn't finished being written, and we all know my track record. So please be kind if it takes time for me to update and forgive me if this never ends up being finished. But it's Shizuru's birthday so I took it as a sign to bite the bullet and upload it anyway!

 **I - The Golden Rule**

Shizuru sighed as she walked through the empty halls of her, now-former, high school. The graduation ceremony had ended only moments ago, and while everyone else was greeting their friends and family, she was here. With nothing around but the air of nostalgia, she returned to the student council room to see to any business that may have been left unfinished.

The door slid open easily, but the silence made it seem all the more jarring on her ears. She went to sit at her desk, out of habit, but when she looked around the empty room, it all became too clear that there was nothing left to do here.

 _My work is done, I suppose._ Shizuru thought, drumming her fingers on the wood before leaning back and rolling her head to the side to stare out the window. The cherry blossom tree rustled in the wind, dancing light over the pink petals in a relaxing, hypnotizing, pattern. Having been in solitude from the moment she picked up her diploma, the sudden ring from her skirt pocket surprised her out of her trance.

It was a single notification of a text message, which read simply - and amusingly: "Meet me in the garden for a good time." Followed by an array of different winking face emojis. That got a bemused chuckle out of her, but she was still more or less confused at the fact she was contacted at all. While the number which wrote to her was unknown, she realized that it was sent to precisely eleven others, including herself and Natsuki. She put the pieces together.

Any and all playfulness evaporated from her long exhale. After a moment's pause, thinking over her options, she finally stood up. "... I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

* * *

The walk to the garden was a familiar one. It brought back an array of memories, but one would always stand out above the others. _We met here…_ Shizuru thought to herself, stepping out of the forest path to see the gazebo in the distance with the other HiMEs gathered around it. Her legs froze for a split second, then she felt the need to hide behind a tree before she would be seen by any of them. _Especially her._

She shut her eyes while her fingertips gently clawed at the bark. _What if she doesn't want to see me? We haven't spent much time together - any - time together since then._ Scarlet eyes opened with a soft gaze on the forest floor. _I can't imagine why_ any _of them would want me there…_ Unfortunately, in order to step back on the path and return the way she came, Shizuru was - for a few brief seconds - hidden only from the knees down by a flower bed.

"Oooooi! Over here!"

She flinched, turning slowly to see the woman who she only knew as Sugiura-sensei waving her over emphatically. _And why is she in a cape?_ In any case, there was nowhere to hide now. Feigning misdirection, Shizuru waved back with practiced politeness and made her way towards the group. There was something overbearingly intimidating about having eleven pairs of eyes staring at you when you were completely unable to read the intent behind them. _Furthermore…_

Shizuru made her best attempt to smile at Natsuki, who smiled back and gave a short wave, but remained standing directly left of the stone steps. That was enough of a hint to stay at the back of the group, which just so happened to be nearest to Fumi. She blinked in surprise at the realization, having had no true suspicion that the woman had been a HiME as well. Yet, in the end, aside from Natsuki and Yukino, it was actually Fumi with which she had spent the most time. _At the very least it isn't as uncomfortable as it could be._

"Ahem!" Midori cleared her throat, taking center stage and extending her arms dramatically. "Now that we're all in attendance-"

"Hmph, and look who's last to show again." Nao mumbled under her breath, but was immediately cut off by a clump of dirt being whipped at her, courtesy of Natsuki. "Why you-!"

"I slipped."

"Stop it, both of you." Mai got in between them, then looked up to the woman on stage. "Continue, Midori-chan."

Midori gave her a nod of thanks. "As I _was about to say_ : Before we get to the good stuff, I would like to implement The Golden Rule," Her playful tone took an immediate shift to deadly serious. "No dredging up the past."

Yukariko raised her hand. "Actually, the golden rule is "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'"

Midori gave her a knowing smirk. "Am I wrong in assuming that, in this case, those are one in the same?"

One by one, everyone gave slow, solemn nods. It would no doubt be difficult, but everyone saw at least some ways in which it could be beneficial.

Even Nao, who remained a stick in the mud for most of Midori's antics, begrudgingly sighed and shifted her weight back onto her heel. "So, what's the 'good stuff' then?"

Midori grinned wide. "It appears that, after recent calculations, the now-dismantled First District has a total of…" She trailed off in thought.

"Roughly five point five billion yen." Yukino chimed in.

Jaws dropped among the group as Midori continued. "That much unclaimed, legitimate funds. Now, naturally, the majority of that will go back into the academy and city to cover the costs of rebuilding all that got destroyed. _But_ , I took the liberty of arranging…" Midori unfurled a cartoonish, hand drawn sign with a map and pictures of a massive cabin in the woods along the beach. "The HiME Sentai Celebration Get Away Because We Saved The World And Deserve It!"

Natsuki rolled her eyes, "You couldn't come up with anything shorter?"

"Of course not!" Midori pointed emphatically, then crossed her arms over her chest. "This is the perfect time to do it. Fumi was just promoted to headmaster, the third years are graduating, and _we saved the world you guys_!"

"Yay!" Mai and Mikoto cheered with excitement in an attempt to rally the others, but a silence overcame them.

This… was not something that Shizuru had been expecting. And the silence wasn't helping. More than anything, being the only third year among them, she felt a bit too under the spotlight with that mention. She slowly raised her hand.

"Yes? Kaichou-san?" Midori was eager to answer any question from anyone.

"Ah- I've already graduated. Shizuru is fine."

Midori chuckled to herself, "Right. Well, what is it?"

She tried to muffle the sigh which fell from her lips, avoiding unintentional glances around the group. "I…" a lie formulated in a few seconds, "I think my parents would like me to return home. I don't think I'll be able to join you."

Nao and Yukino gave curious, but narrowed stares back at her. Mai's dropped smile was a subtler disappointment, while Midori's was far more expressive in dismay - after all, getting twelve people together for a social function was tough enough, and she worked hard on this. The rest were oblivious to the situation and took it at face value.

Except Natsuki. Against her better judgement, she felt her brow furrowing into a disapproving glare which pierced right through Shizuru's story. The interruption had no need of words between them.

"Well that sucks!" Midori finally said, throwing up her arms in frustration. "But if you have to, you have to."

The former president tilted her head in a polite bow. "Forgive me, but I also could not stay long now either - I hadn't expected this to be the purpose of this meeting." She offered a practiced smile. "Thank you - for the invitation."

Midori gave her a wave as she turned to leave, but her attention was caught by movement from her left.

"Give me a minute." Natsuki said, not even looking back. Her eyes remained locked on Shizuru's fleeting figure.

"Ah- Natsuki-chan! Oh… well now we've lost her too."

Nao couldn't hold back a snort. For which she got a stern, disapproving-motherly look from Mai. However, the former was never one to back down from a challenge. "Oh, _sorry_." She said sarcastically.

A handful of the girls looked around at each other curiously before Akane spoke up. She was in the unique position of knowing nothing of the Carnival's events, which left her as a rather unbiased party. "What is it, Nao-chan?"

The redhead made a zipper motion across her lips followed by an intentionally exaggerated flicking the invisible key away.

With a sigh, Yukino picked up the conversation, though with a far better ability of adhering to the newly implemented _Golden Rule_. "I think she means to say that… Some wounds are still fresh." She barely sidestepped it.

Midori groaned, setting her hands on her hips and shutting her eyes a moment. As much as she wished it, their traumas could not be erased. She thought of those still standing before her. _Miko-chin was under the control of the Obsidian Lord. Shiho-chan's power was directly linked to her worst nightmare. Sister, well…_ she didn't want to think about it. _But for them..._ She breathed in deep, knowing that how she truly felt in her heart was right. But first she had to find the words.

It was Mai who stood up beside her, "We… We're standing here today because we got a second chance. The ones we love got a second chance." She slowly but surely made eye contact with each and every one of them. "And… I don't think it's foolish to give others a second chance, when it's what we want for ourselves."

* * *

Meanwhile, Natsuki had been following Shizuru for quite some time - though the latter hadn't acknowledged her presence. Finally, she halted halfway down the hill leading to the academy - not wanting to ascend the entire thing after this confrontation. "You _do_ know I'm here right!?" She called.

Shizuru turned around, sadly looking over her shoulder. "But I do not know why."

Natsuki frowned. "Why won't you come with us?"

"I told you. My parents-"

"Remember who you're talking to, alright." Natsuki cut her off with narrowed eyes. "I know they're not exactly you're favourite people."

 _You're being troublesome._ Shizuru sighed. "Regardless, until I start university and move into the dorms, I'll have to live with them. It will only be a couple months, I'll survive."

"Or you could stay with me?" Before she knew it, Natsuki had offered the invitation as easily as it had ever been in the past. When the words left her mouth, and seeing how stunned Shizuru was upon hearing them, she stiffened her posture and looked away. "I mean- you know. Moving back to Kyoto only to return here would be a hassle, plus-"

"I appreciate the offer, but," Shizuru raised a hand to halt the girl's stammering, smiling gently - but with solemn distance in her gaze, "You don't need to force yourself."

Natsuki shut her eyes with a sigh. "I'm not forcing myself, I…" She shook her head, then faced the girl across from her. "Look. I miss you."

Heat rose in Shizuru's cheeks, but she forced her smile away.

"And I think this might be good for us. You know… if we can't talk about the past, maybe we can talk about where we are now." She shoved a palm into her forehead, combing through the nearest navy locks. "We've been friends too long to just never talk to each other again after you graduate."

"I'm sorry," Shizuru looked down. "I worried about how you would react if I approached you. Your friendship was - is - a privilege. One which I took advantage of. I didn't exactly feel entitled to it again."

"I'm sorry too, for not reaching out to you sooner. I knew why you were avoiding me but then I did nothing to fix it - and I _do_ want to fix it." Natsuki groaned, dropping her shoulders while leaning her head back. "But it's not as if they have counselling for people caught in a cosmic battle royale."

Shizuru chuckled mirthlessly at that. "I suppose not."

"And besides, I," now Natsuki blushed, though she turned away to hide it as best she could. "I think- I mean it'd be weird if- I guess what I'm trying to say is… If we're all going… you should be there too."

It was upon hearing those words that an unfamiliar emotion struck Shizuru's heart. It wasn't love, but was close to it. It wasn't yearning, or desire, but just shy of craving. It was in that moment, it occurred to her that she had always been alone. "Are you saying… you think I belong there?"

Natsuki looked back at her, curious at how those words sounded more like a pondering to herself, only out loud. "Is that what you're afraid of? Not fitting in?"

Shizuru looked away. "To put it mildly."

Natsuki folded her arms across her chest. "This is a 'let's bury the hatchet and restart our lives' kind of trip. The whole point is to not be judgmental."

"Still…"

"Then look at it this way," Natsuki huffed, "It's _all thanks to you_ that I learned how to even make friends - now look what you've done! Look at all the weirdos you made me be friends with - a half-cat, a cape-wearing teacher! You have to live with the consequences of your actions and be friends with them too!"

"I get it! I get it!" Shizuru was laughing heartily now, "So, what you're saying is-"

"Is that you're going to fit right in. I don't know if it's fate or not - or if you could ever say it was worth it - but in any case... We HiMEs became a family in one way or another, and so... it wouldn't be right if you weren't a part of it." Natsuki reached her hand out.

* * *

"Natsuki-chan's back!" Midori smiled, covering her brow like a visor while looking out. "... Alone?"

Natsuki's approach was swift, nearly a run as she made her way through the crowd of girls to center stage of the gazebo. She took a deep breath, then looked out at all of them. "One! We will all stick to the golden rule: no bringing up the past." She raised her fingers to count off each point. "Two! There will be no passive aggressive actions, or snarky comments. And not _just_ about the past." She looked to Nao and Yukino - the only two other than Mai who were aware of what she was referencing. "Three!" This was the one which weighed heaviest on her heart. She sighed, then looked out at them with a smile. "Just… be nice, okay? Treat her like a normal person."

There were some mumbles around the group, but the general consensus was positive - encouraged by those at the front. Nao snorted in defeat, shrugging. "Whatever."

Yukino raised a hand, to which Natsuki offered her a moment to speak. "I said before, while you were gone, that some wounds are still fresh. This is true… But…" She looked closely at Natsuki. "I believe it is true for us all."

Natsuki relaxed into a smile at that. "Thank you." She then waved her arm at the path which she had come.

Shizuru stepped out from behind a tree, rejoining the group with a hint of embarrassment. "I've reconsidered my plans to go home. If you'll still have me."

Midori leapt back onto the stage. "Excellent! We leave in twenty-four hours!"


	2. Responsibility

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai HiME.

A/N: So I've always had a thing for the headcanon (or even canon, really) that Shizuru is actually pretty awkward and crap at making friends. She has fans, but when it comes to her peers she's been described as unapproachable and/or cold. As far as we know, she only has one real friend in Natsuki. So, that's part of my inspiration for this fic.

 **II - Responsibility**

With one hour to go, Shizuru had packed the majority of things from her dorm room into storage boxes while collecting a week's worth of clothing - and other supplies for the trip - into a suitcase. She looked back and cleared room one last time, then flicked the light off before shutting the door behind her.

She had a brief conversation with the front desk clerk with whom she had arranged an extended stay for her belongings while away on this trip. It wasn't a problem, so long as she left the keys. And so, the last of her business as a student had concluded the moment she stepped out of the building.

The rays of first light brightened her mood even more. Nervous as she was about this getaway, Shizuru was also one to make time for the little things in life. _Like how the morning is both cool and sunny._ She felt the breeze brush the length of her dress against her legs. _And how I'm out of high school. And-_

"How long are you gonna stand there looking like a plant?"

Natsuki's voice broke her from her reverie with surprise. She raised an eyebrow. "A plant?"

The girl lifted her backpack over her shoulder. "You're just standing there soaking up sunlight with a smile. A happy plant."

Shizuru giggled at that. It had been some time since she was happy, even if only a little. "I didn't expect you to meet me here." She said, joining Natsuki in their walk to the front gates.

"I wanted to show you I meant it." Natsuki replied, hidden beneath a pout. "That I'd do what I could to make you feel welcome."

"Thank you," she smiled more earnestly at her.

They continued their walk in comfortable silence. And just as they crested over the top of the hill, the duo looked down to see a large van surrounded by most of the other HiMEs. But that's where the expected ended. The pair came to a stop in unison, with equally odd stares at it.

The vehicle itself was not only painted with a bright red background, but even from this distance there was clearly an artistic rendition of a warrior jumping out of flames while being flanked by tigers. Atop it flew a pair of flags: one with the Fuuka Academy emblem, another with the HiME mark. And even without everyone present, the back of it seemed to be overflowing with anything - and apparently, _everything_ \- one might consider bringing to the beach.

"Is… she always like that?" Shizuru asked, eyes fixated on Midori pacing back and forth around the others.

"... It grows on you." Natsuki answered, eye twitching nervously. "In time…"

A moment later, they were waved down by the woman and made their way down to join them. The van was even more cringe-worthy up close.

"How much did it cost to rent this?" Natsuki asked, unable to tear her eyes away from the paint job.

"Heh," Midori patted the hood. "Don't be silly, Natsuki. I bought it."

"Of course you did…"

As Natsuki trailed off into a facepalm, Shizuru tapped her shoulder with a snicker. "We should get settled in for the ride then." She extended her hand. "Your bag."

Natsuki blinked for a moment before realizing. "Ah, sure." She removed her backpack to hand over. "Thanks. I'll go find us seats."

"I want the window-!" Shizuru called, only to be cut off.

"You're not getting the window!" Natsuki mock-glared at her. "I'm always the one driving, I never get to zone out on the road."

With a soft 'mou, so mean' under her breath, Shizuru loaded both of their things into the trunk alongside the others' bags, and a few boxes labeled "Secret Beach Plan". She was surprised to notice herself smiling at that. _This is silly_. She sighed. _But I can't remember the last time I felt like this._

She stepped into the open door furthest to the back of the van. As expected, Natsuki chose one of two pairs of seats which would have zero chance of anyone kicking it while they drove. However, she did not expect to see her sitting in the aisle. "Aww, did you change your mind for me?" Shizuru asked with a near-sickly sweet smile.

Natsuki responded with a deadpan stare. "No. I just didn't want anyone to think the seat was available."

"Oh," for a split second, she was genuinely crestfallen, until her inner mischievousness took over. Natsuki hadn't moved yet, which left the perfect opportunity for Shizuru to attempt to crawl past her anyway.

"What the-!" Natsuki was forced back into the cushioning. "Hey!"

"You can't take the window if I get there first!"

"That's so cheap - I called it!" Natsuki shuffled herself over to the window seat. Effectively half-tripping her friend had she not caught herself on the empty seat in front of them.

"Good job - now I'm stuck or else I'll fall." Shizuru pouted.

"Well fall over there!"

Before she could react, Shizuru's left hip was pushed in the side which knocked her off balance. With a soft thud, she landed in the aisle seat, defeated, but undeniably laughing at the banter. "Very well. After all the nice views you've given me on bike rides, the least I can do is return the favour for one trip."

The blush hadn't even gotten to the surface of Natsuki's cheeks when the pair was interrupted by the last arrival.

"Ugh… you guys are gross. Just do it and get it over with will ya." Nao sneered and shoved her one bag over the back seat and into the trunk.

In polar opposite reactions, Shizuru went white with fear, while Natsuki went red with rage. Luckily, any possible outburst was halted by Midori having overheard the comment.

"Nao-chan!" She barked, not only getting the girl's attention but - if only a little - embarrassing her. "For that, you're bunking with Sister on this trip!"

"Eh?!"

Yukariko tried to keep her calmest of expressions. All the while, doing her best to repress the memories of when she last heard Nao's confessions. _Lord give me strength._

* * *

They were approaching hour three of the five-hour drive up the coast. And, with the same passive interest as Natsuki watching the scenery go by, Shizuru found herself gazing around the van. Everyone had become settled once they got onto the highway, when she expected a boisterous party atmosphere for the entirely of the next week or so. _But everyone's paired off in a way that suits them… somehow._

She glanced back at Natsuki, who didn't seem to notice. Nao's comment hadn't ever truly left her mind. It wasn't that she was afraid of who she was - or people finding out. She sighed. _I'm afraid of who I've been… and that they will find out._ Shizuru leaned back in her seat, feigning a light doze. _I wonder if we really can go this whole time without bringing up the past. If_ I _can._

After a few moments of pretending to sleep, it had come to her against her will. The road had been relatively smooth, and it's gentle rocking had managed to relax her enough to slip to the side. It was only after they had come to a halt that Shizuru's eyes fluttered open and she could feel Natsuki's arm on the side of her head. Like lightning, she bolted upright.

"Geez! Don't scare me like that!" Natsuki inadvertently snapped.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to."

"How long have you been awake?"

"Just now!" Shizuru forced a nervous, but genuine, smile at her. "I promise."

Natsuki raised an eyebrow. "It's fine?"

"... Is it?"

By now everyone else was in the midst of either opening the van doors to exit, reaching for their bags, or waking up from their own naps. Shizuru had remained still, waiting for some kind of confirmation. She received it in the form of a gentle pet on the head.

"It's not the first time you've fallen asleep on me. At least this time I didn't almost have a heart attack worrying about you flying off the back of my bike."

A nervous chuckle rumbled within her. _I wasn't actually asleep those times._

The duo then exited the van alongside everyone else. And all were equally surprised to see the building in person. Nestled among the trees was a large, two-story building made of wood. It seemed decently maintained, at least until recently. Nothing was broken, but nothing seemed clean either. Beyond the chirping of woodland birds was the sound - and smell - of the ocean.

As everyone was taking a few groggy stretches, Midori took center stage again - still full of energy even after driving the entire time. Cape donned, flag in hand, she directed everyone's attention to their home for the next ten days. "Here we are! Let's make the most of this, got it?"

Everyone cheered - though some less enthusiastic than others - and Midori unlocked the front door. One by one, they entered and took in the expanse of the cottage interior. The entire first floor was open, with a few couches and a coffee table at the center. The ceiling went high, and only half of the second floor hung over the left side of the building. There, three bedrooms lined the first floor with an identical set above them.

Off to the side was a kitchen, seemingly in good condition as well, and beyond that was a dining area with a much larger table - enough to seat all twelve of them should the time ever come.

"The beach!" Mikoto shouted, leaping across the first floor on only two bounds and pressing herself against the sliding glass door. The wooden balcony ran the width of the building, and attached to it was a large outdoor bath hidden behind bushes, and a set of stairs leading down to the sea.

This got the attention of about half the group - Midori included - who all raced each other out the door to the water whilst leaving their bags behind either on the floor or in the van.

"I need to go back to bed." Akira said, yawning and walking up the stairs to the second floor.

"I second that." Natsuki stretched her arms up over her head and walked up beside Shizuru. "Any preference for a room?"

She turned, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't think you'd be sharing with me."

Natsuki returned the confused look. "Well, I could bunk with Mai. But then you'd get Mikoto every night for a week and a half."

Shizuru smiled nervously at the thought. "Whichever you'd prefer, in that case."

With a nod, Natsuki followed Akira up to the second floor and took the room closest to the stairs. It wasn't long until everyone had gone either down to the beach, or to a room to rest and enjoy some quiet time. But Shizuru hadn't a preference for either right now. And, while visually large, this was still effectively one room in a cabin - leaving little in terms of entertainment.

She paced around, giving her best effort at hiding her confusion and sense of displacement. Without Natsuki, she felt adrift in this so-called family which everyone else had made. Absentmindedly, she wiped a hand across the kitchen counter, only to twist her face up when she felt how much dust had collected. _Well if no one's been here in years…_ This, in addition to her underlying boredom, sparked the desire to clean - of all things to do on a vacation.

Wordlessly, seeing as how there was no one around to speak to, Shizuru merely looked through the meager supplies under the kitchen sink and went to work. She had wiped down the counter and stove top, checked the fridge to make sure nothing had been left in there from the previous residents - thankfully it was immaculate - and went about plugging all the appliances back in.

"You aren't going to join the others?"

The high timbre of the voice caught Shizuru's attention. It was easily recognizable as Fumi's, at whom she smiled upon turning around from her task at hand. "Not yet," she answered, "They're either tired or having fun, but this place…"

"I agree." Fumi smiled back at her, giggling a little. "But I didn't expect someone to beat me to it."

The shrug came naturally to Shizuru, "It will be nice for them when they come back. So I figured, why not?"

Fumi nodded and reached for the broom and dustpan. "And it will get done twice as fast if we work together."

* * *

Over the next hour or so, even with the occasional sopping wet middle-schooler running across the freshly mopped floor, the cabin had gotten a new shine to it. By working together, Shizuru and Fumi had taken the place far beyond merely livable to enjoyable - the way a getaway home is supposed to feel. All that was left was to empty out the van.

Only a handful had taken their bags to their rooms, the rest were waiting in the trunk buried beneath the mounds of equipment used for field day activities. _This certainly will not be boring._ Shizuru thought, carrying bags to the cabin in tandem with Fumi. And although most of the time was silent - neither being big talkers - Shizuru was gifted with an unexpected compliment on their last round.

"You're always so responsible, Fujino-san." Fumi's innocent tone was almost hard to read.

If Shizuru hadn't known the woman any better, she might have even feared it was sarcasm. She tried humbling herself with a chuckle. "I'm not really…"

But Fumi shook her head, which - for her - was a rather defiant gesture. "Not just today. You've always had to make tough choices, but you don't give in to impulse like others might."

Shizuru blanched and gulped at that. Adhering to the Golden Rule was already posing its challenges. "I'm… not sure that's the most common opinion others have of me."

Or perhaps, it was bestowing its blessings. "At the very least, I can say I enjoyed working with you." Fumi held her smile at her. "You were a good President, and I can only hope the next one works as hard as you did."

Shizuru's expression had gone from stunned to one of genuine, heartfelt warmth. For months now, she had had her doubts, and insecurity had overtaken what was once a firmly dedicated personality. "Thank you." She finally said, bowing her head in respect to the new headmaster. _For reminding me… that there is more to my past than my mistakes._


	3. Alone in the Dark

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai HiME.

A/N: By now you're probably going to start seeing a pattern in how I planned this fic. I like to think that everyone has a point of connection, or a way to help each other.

 **III - Alone in the Dark**

The first night of the getaway had come. Sun had set on the beach, and one by one pairs retired to their rooms alongside their bunkmates - regardless of how reluctant some may have been. And given that most of the day had been spent traveling, exploring, or unpacking; they were assured that from here onward, things would get a lot more interesting.

Such thoughts brought a gentle chuckle to Shizuru's lips as she sat on the sofa, reading a book in solitude. Despite being genuinely interested in the content, her eyes kept glancing up at the series of bedrooms lining the wall she faced. She sighed, not even allowing herself to think the thoughts which swirled around her mind. After taking a sip of her tea, she went back to reading long into the night.

The next thing she knew, her eyes opened with a jolt - only to shut tightly again upon feeling the ache pulsating from her sleep-deprived head. Shizuru felt around for a moment, noticing that she was on her side on the couch, one arm fallen of the side over her book, which had fallen onto the floor. She was still wearing the same clothes as the day before, but had a light blanket which was previously over the back of the couch, now over the length of her body.

She sat up and looked around to see that the lights had been turned off, but the sky outside was becoming a light blue with just enough sunrise for her to see the way around. _That's fortunate. It would have been rather embarrassing to be seen like this._ Shizuru stretched out her back and got to her feet. She had gotten enough sleep to manage for the day, but still needed to prepare for the day without letting anyone know she had passed out in the living room.

* * *

The cabin was bustling throughout the day. While they hadn't been subjected to the more elaborate of Midori's plans just yet, everyone was well rested and making the most of their first day away from the city. Well, most everyone. Shizuru hid her tired eyes behind a smile, but generally kept quiet.

"Hey," Natsuki said, sitting down on the coffee table in front of where Shizuru had gone back to sitting and reading her book. "You're gonna do things other than read on this trip, right?"

Shizuru chuckled at that. "We can enjoy ourselves in our own way, can we not?"

"Mm, yeah," the girl nodded, "I just want to make sure you're having fun. I did kinda drag you along…"

"You didn't," she shook her head. "Well, maybe a little. But I'm glad you did."

They shared a smile for a moment before Natsuki stood up again and headed for the back door. "Try to get outside a bit!"

"I know, I know," Shizuru nodded and waved her off dismissively, though her smile lingered. _I'll make an effort. I promise… Just… not when I'm so tired._

Within the bubble of silence which Shizuru had placed herself, even in the middle of this house full of rampant vacationing teens, she found herself at peace. At peace with the scent of the ocean whenever someone would open the door; with the bits of laughter she could hear from every direction; and, for the first time in months: herself. It surprised her just how… invisible, she was here. In the past, there would be a flock of fans following her everywhere she went. _But here…_ Her peace shifted to turmoil. _Ah… maybe they_ are _avoiding me._

* * *

That thought weighed on Shizuru for the rest of the day. When everyone had gathered for dinner, she lied and said she wasn't hungry - only to forage some leftovers after the fact. When they were going to bed and Natsuki had asked of she was coming with her, she lied and said she wanted to keep reading. In the end, she had been successfully avoided all day.

 _I should sleep properly tonight._ She told herself. But when she looked up at the bedroom door, left slightly ajar by Natsuki, her chest ran cold. _Does the Golden Rule apply for ourselves… I wonder._ She sighed and curled her legs up on the sofa to then lay on her side. While trying to debate herself on the topic of whether or not she _should_ return to her shared room, she had - unintentionally - fallen asleep in the living room a second night in a row.

Again, Shizuru had been jolted awake by something just minutes before dawn. She combed fingers through her tangled bangs and looked around, noticing that - again - she was warmed by the blanket. Like clockwork, she returned to their bedroom just in time to shower and change clothes before Natsuki woke up. At which point she feigned having just finished making her bed for the day.

"Ugh… why do you get up so early?" Natsuki groaned, rolling onto her side. "Do you ever sleep?"

Shizuru only laughed at that. _Do I?_

* * *

Even more exhausted than the day before, Shizuru was now actively turning down invitations from the others. She was sure that, had she gotten more sleep it would have made her all warm and fuzzy inside, but right now, all she needed was a nap.

After lunch, Midori had called them all into the living room to go over her plans for the day. Though fading in and out of attentiveness, Shizuru noted the gist of what she was explaining: _Team activities… Group activities… Contests… Tests of courage…_ She used her remaining strength to resist the urge to yawn.

"So!" Midori yelled, bringing everyone to attention. "We'll have four groups of three!"

Everyone nodded in agreement at first, until Mai looked around. "Wait, Akira-kun isn't here."

"She's still asleep," Shiho answered with a shrug, "I think she only comes out at night."

Shizuru stiffened at that but tried to hide it. _Wait. Did she see me last night? Or before?_

"Well, now we have eleven… we can't divide that." Midori grumbled to herself, trying to find a solution until she saw the raised hand in the back. "Yes, Kai- Shizuru?" she corrected herself.

"To be honest, I'm quite tired myself. I'd be happy to give up my spot, then there would be five teams of two - does that work?"

Midori did some calculations in her head, then nodded. "It works. But are you sure?"

"Yes," she smiled genuinely at that. "Hopefully by tomorrow I'll have more energy."

And with that, Shizuru had successfully gotten herself a reasonable excuse to sleep in her bed - for once.

* * *

Unfortunately, sleeping at one in the afternoon meant that - even considering the hours caught up from the previous nights - Shizuru had woken up long after dark. _At least I got to wake up more peacefully_. She smiled at the physical comforts of a pillow, then turned her head over to see Natsuki, turned away on her side, breathing calmly. And the peace faded.

Quietly, Shizuru rolled off the bed and made her way down to the kitchen. A new set of leftovers were in the fridge, and she found them equally as delicious as what she had eaten the night before. But after that, with no one left awake, she found herself at a loss for what to do. And so, after a few minutes of pacing, Shizuru found herself walking down to the beach for the first time since they arrived.

She walked barefoot on the soft sand, under the light of a nearly-full moon, listening to the surf. More solitude was nice, but more time alone with her thoughts... _Not as quiet in my own head._ Shizuru sighed and stopped walking, taking a moment to enjoy the midnight blue waves in the distance and the sparkle of stars on the horizon. She was about to take another step when, luckily, she noticed a long stick - which could have easily tripped her - half buried in the sand.

Truly bored, Shizuru bent down to pick it up and found herself unconsciously sensing its balance. There was little thought to her movements, swinging it back and forth slowly as she walked to where the property line met the forest and then back. As time went on, the restlessness in her muscles from three days indoors had started to get the better of her. Alone in the dark, she let her muscle memory take over and followed more precise strikes.

Her movements were practiced and, in their own way, nostalgic. She had memories beyond the past six months - a lifetime of them - and her body knew it even if she had tried to shut them out. Shizuru continued like this until her breath grew ragged. She hadn't thought to bring water with her and her throat had gone dry; which instinctively prompted the desire to go back inside. Except, right as she turned to face the cabin, she heard rustling in the trees.

Her heart was already racing from the impromptu workout, and her sudden awareness that she was one teenage girl alone in an unfamiliar area kicked her reflexes into overdrive. As if from nowhere, a blur of black landed at Shizuru's side and her battle hardened instincts reacted by swinging the stick across it. Except by the time the motion finished, the figure was gone. She blinked, afraid her mind was playing tricks on her until it happened again.

"Wai-!" The figure tried to speak but Shizuru was too quick.

However, she was untrained in the specific martial art of "random driftwood". She swung down, in a motion that would have sliced the shadow in two had her wayward stick had an extendable blade at the end of it. Except in this case it merely provided a landing for the blur to step on when coming closer. In an instant, the shadow vanished again by way of kicking off the stick and landing behind her. Then, before she knew it, Shizuru landed flat on her back with a dull ache in the back of her legs.

"Sorry," the shadow blocked her view of the moon for a moment. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Shizuru blinked, vaguely recognizing the voice. "... Okuzaki…-kun?" A hand was extended to her and she took it. "What are you doing out here at night?"

Akira lifted her to her feet, strong for someone her size. "The same thing you seemed to be doing - tonight at least."

Shizuru tilted her head curiously, then righted herself with a nervous smile. "You…" It dawned on her. "Was it you who woke me up in the morning?"

Akira nodded. "I assumed you wouldn't want the others to know you were sleeping on the couch."

She sighed at that, "No, I wouldn't."

"But this is the first time I saw you training. I didn't think you were the type, to be honest." Akira gave her a short bow of respect. "But you were much better than I thought - you nearly got me!"

"Ah! No- I wouldn't," Shizuru raised her hands defensively. "I mean… I wasn't training. I just saw it and… I suppose my mind wandered." She looked down at the sand shifting over her feet, then gave the girl before her a pleading stare. "Could you… not tell anyone about this?"

"I wasn't intending to." Akira's blunt response was cushioned by the inquiry: "If I may ask, why not? You were good at it."

Shizuru looked over at where the stick had fallen when she was knocked onto her back. "That's why." She forced a smile. "In short - that is, without breaking any rules," she took a moment to find the words, "I think… if word spread that I was brandishing a weapon of any kind, it would be troublesome."

Akira gave a curt nod of understanding and turned back to the forest, only to be stopped by a hand on her shoulder.

"You still haven't answered my question." Shizuru smirked, crossing her arms.

"Yes I did." Akira looked back, puzzled, and repeated: "The same thing you were."

"I came out here on a whim and twirled a stick," her tone had become almost that of a concerned parent - or, at the very least, older sibling - "Have you been running around the forest every night since we got here?"

Akira groaned under the weight of the former-President's natural aura of authority. She turned, rubbing the back of her neck and sighed. "Yes, I have. And you - or anyone else - hadn't even the slightest idea until I came out to talk to you."

"But… why? It's dangerous."

"Habit." Akira answered. "The same way your body knows how to handle that over there," she pointed to the stick, "Mine knows how to hide in the shadows. And my brain can only relax if I patrol an area - to know the house is safe."

Shizuru halted her interrogation when those words hit her in the gut like a punch of reality. Not only tonight, here and now, _But… I couldn't sleep because I was stuck in the past. Just like she is…_ "We," she swallowed, trying to remain respectful of the fact that Akira wasn't a normal child - or arguably a child at all, given what they had all experienced. "We need this to be over."

A hint of emotion managed to be visible in Akira's face, if only for a second, thanks to the moonlight. Her fist clenched at her side. "I feel alone here." She finally said. "And that's fine. It's comforting. I work best alone and this way I can-"

"You're reliving a nightmare." Shizuru interrupted her firmly, but then smiled a sad, knowing smile, "You're right. The same as me."

After a moment of silence, Akira gave a subtle laugh - as if to hold back tears. "This is one tough rule - even if it's only temporary."

Shizuru nodded, reflecting on her own behaviour since they arrived. "But… I think it gives us a fighting chance, don't you agree?"

Akira took a deep breath and rubbed the heels of her palms against her eyes. And when she exhaled, she let her arms go limp at her sides. "I don't know where to begin."

"Let's make a deal. Neither of us will isolate ourselves." Shizuru offered, then became slightly more scolding. "Which means no sneaking out at night!" She displayed an uncharacteristic groan of frustration, "Really, I can't - in good conscience - let _that_ go on."

"Hmph," Akira huffed at what she perceived was a challenge of her abilities, although her counter-offer was unrelated to physical prowess, "Fine, but if I can't spend the night hiding in the woods, _you_ can't spend it hiding on the couch."

Luckily the night covered any redness on Shizuru's face. And before she knew it, Akira had gotten behind her and was already heading up the stairs. Embarrassment turned into a smirk, knowing full well that this was the second time that night she had been bested by a middle-schooler.

"Consider this my apology for surprising you back there." Akira said just before taking an inhuman leap up a tree trunk, then off the balcony railing and onto the roof.

Shizuru hadn't the slightest idea what she had meant, but the night chill was urging her back inside anyway. She took one last moment to look out at the sea, then turned back to climb the stairs. And what awaited her at the top was the - only-slightly - frightening sight of a half-asleep Natsuki with her arms folded over her chest. She froze and took a step back, offering a nervous and obviously fake smile. "N-Natsuki! How surprising to see you awake at-"

"Come to bed." Natsuki practically growled, deadpan and sliding open the glass door to grab Shizuru by the wrist.

"Ah-"

"Seriously," Natsuki moaned, "I had to get woken up at one in the damn morning by a ninja landing on my bed telling me I was, quote: 'Giving you war nightmares' and forcing you to sleep on the couch every night. Geez, what have you been telling people about me?"

Shizuru couldn't help but laugh. _I suppose that's one way of putting it._

"Nevermind _why_ you were out there," the girl stopped short of the stairs, calming her tone, albeit still incredibly sleepy. "Just… Don't _not_ talk to me if you're feeling like that, okay?"

The solemnity in her voice struck a chord in Shizuru's heart. When Natsuki had taken a few steps up, she reached out to grab her hand. Though it frightened her to do so, it was the first time she had done so in months. "I'm sorry." Pressure rose up behind her eyes, despite how lucky she felt to have something as silly as sleeping on the couch as an excuse to say the words.

Natsuki looked down at her, still clearly exhausted, but with a receptive smile. A moment later, she reached her hand around to the one holding her wrist and gave it a squeeze. "Come on. We both need a good night sleep." She groaned. "Tomorrow's gonna be a hell of a day."

* * *

A/N: I've always wanted to explore how Shizuru would interact with the other characters while still keeping their personalities intact. I like to think that, given that she doesn't know Akira that well personally, she would be quite unsettled knowing a 12/13-year-old was in the woods at night. Especially as an 18/19-year-old, that's a decent age difference between effectively an adult and a child. I imagine her being instinctively protective in that way.

I like to think (in a bittersweet way) that because Akira had been raised as a ninja, even though her HiME powers may have been forced on her, she still has a different mentality from anyone else. And being the first eliminated in the legitimate Carnival, I headcanon that she has a lot of survivor's guilt and desire to protect and care for others.


	4. One Girl, Many Cats

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai HiME.

A/N: I've made art for this! I'll put the link at the bottom for you to check out.

 **IV - One Girl, Many Cats**

 _A new day, a new plan._ Is what Shizuru told herself upon waking. It was a decent hour, with enough time to get the sleep she needed without further throwing off her circadian rhythm. While she did notice Natsuki had already left the room, it didn't stress her. The muffled sounds of play and banter coming from down below reassured her that the girl was most likely simply having a good time with her friends - _not_ purposely avoiding her as she had let herself worry.

 _No. It was my fault._ She sat up with a sigh. _I'm the one who's been hiding._

While she hadn't the slightest idea what Natsuki meant last night by them having a 'hell of a day' today, Shizuru opted for her new swimsuit covered by a long, loose-fitting zip-up shirt. She had seen others dressed similarly over the past few days, and so made the assumption that whatever activities they would have would, in some way, be beach related.

Upon leaving the bedroom, she made an instinctive glance around the first floor for Natsuki, but she wasn't there. In fact, Shizuru quickly realized that these were all the younger HiMEs. A faint smile formed on her lips when she saw that, despite the girl's obvious weariness, Akira was also among them - sketching something from the single chair, even with Mikoto lazily hanging off the back of it. The pair exchanged a split-second look of understanding, then went back to their own activities.

Although the others had all finished eating their breakfast, Shizuru was pleased to see that the remains of a feast for twelve was still warm in the kitchen. _They must have slept in as well._ She giggled a bit at her analytical brain. _We're on vacation. Of course they would._ As she filled her plate, Shizuru couldn't shirk the feeling that she was being watched. She gave a quick look to her left, where the others were sitting, but they were all engaged in conversation with each other. And although she deemed herself paranoid for the slightest of moments, Shizuru's attention was immediately pulled to to her right side by a sudden tugging on her sleeve.

"Ah- Mikoto-chan," she looked down at the girl, whose hair barely reached chest-level even at their tallest points. Shizuru smiled at her, "You startled me."

Mikoto blinked silently at her, then - with pure, childlike innocence - asked: "Will you play with us today?"

Shizuru's smile became more strained by the embarrassment she felt. It was difficult to remember that Mikoto was the same age as the other middle-schoolers, especially at times like this when her needs were so simple. Eventually, Shizuru chuckled softly and nodded, "I will."

Mikoto shone a bright grin at her, then went to piling what was left of the breakfast spread onto her plate - which clearly had already been filled at least once before. And, to Shizuru's surprise, she followed close behind toward the dining table and sat herself down right next to her. And the fact that her focus was primarily on her food - not forcing conversation - made it seem all the more natural an occurrence. However, childish honesty came with as much a price as a benefit.

"Do you like Natsuki?"

The bluntness of the question caused Shizuru to audibly choke on her drink, eyes wide and back stiff - even as the younger girl patted it to ease her breathing. A ruby eye looked to her side, nervously, then over to where the others sat out of earshot. With solemnity aiding her shift back to a more poised posture, she gave Mikoto her honest reply.

"Yes, but..." she tried her best to smile at the innocent stare while coming up with a way to say this that the girl would understand. Yet she did not want to lie, either, "It has to be kept a secret. Do you understand?"

There was a moment of silent pause. It worried her, at first, that Mikoto might run around the camp telling everyone. But it was not long before she gave her a curt, and unnervingly serious, nod. _That was close._ Shizuru let out a sigh of relief, and turned back to her food only to be startled out of her whirling thoughts by the back door slamming open.

In trudged a sopping wet Mai and Natsuki, with a pristine and dry Midori in tow. The older woman beamed at them, in blatant disregard for their deadpan gazes. "That zipline wasn't gonna test itself! Thanks girls!"

"You're welcome." The duo mumbled in unison, each grabbing a towel off the nearby rack to get as much water off as they could.

Midori ignored their groans and moved to address the remaining HiMEs inside the cabin. "We're meeting on the beach in ten minutes! Don't let their hard work go to waste, okay?"

As the teacher took her leave, those sitting in the living room area all began to collect themselves for heading outside. At the same time, Shizuru stood up from the dining room table, picking up both her and Mikoto's dishes to take back to the sink. And although there was no need for it, the younger girl continued to follow close behind.

An amused snort came from the other side of the serving pass. "Uh oh, Mai, it looks like you're being replaced." Natsuki laughed only as long as it took the redhead to reply.

"I could say the same for you." Mai gave her a light-hearted jab in the side.

Shizuru laughed with them, placing the dishes atop the pile of others, but nearly dropped them when - out of nowhere - her free arm was completely wrapped around by the girl at her side.

"That's right, Natsuki!" Mikoto stuck her tongue out at her. "We have secrets and we can't tell you!"

"Oh do you now?" Natsuki folded her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes at Mikoto first, then to Shizuru. "What have you been telling her?"

It seemed almost against her will, the way Shizuru leaned into Mikoto's clinging with an airy, smug look on her face. "How mean, Natsuki. You think I'd fill this innocent child's head with lies?" She looked down, ginning at Mikoto, "You don't need to be jealous just because I've made a new friend."

"I'm not jealous!" Natsuki's pout said otherwise, but she covered it by shooting Mikoto a firm stare. "You. Don't cause trouble for her, got it?"

"No!" came the impish reply.

"Yes." Mai interjected, immediately causing Mikoto's demeanor to shift from rambunctious to obedient.

"Yes…" Mikoto lowered her head and let go of the arm in her hold.

"Let's go," Natsuki rolled her eyes and led the way back outside, exasperated sarcasm laden in her voice, "For today we have fun thrust upon us!"

* * *

They were not the last ones to join the group on the beach, which left enough space for them to gather under one of two massive umbrellas. The others were engaged in enough idle chatter to ignore any arrivals, leaving them to sit in peace. Natsuki went down first - more vocal about her exhaustion with being forced to set up the day's activities - followed by Mai. Mikoto took to jumping around in the sand nearby, amused by the way it shifted beneath her feet.

Shizuru opted to stand, taking a moment to relax under the warm rays of sunlight. Given the morning heat, she gave little thought to unzipping her shirt to allow the sea breeze to cool her skin, which had already begun to sweat from the brief time it was clothed. She gently tossed it onto the towel next to her, and in doing so revealed the lean curves of her abdominal muscles and the crest of her hips. Yet she was oblivious to the stare she was receiving until she heard a half-choke, half-cough from below.

Shizuru looked down to see Natsuki, deep red in the face, trying to formulate words; while Mai merely snickered behind her hand.

"Wh-what are you wearing?" Natsuki stammered.

Shizuru raised an eyebrow. "Swimwear?"

Natsuki hid her gulp, too distracted to notice she was being laughed at by her friend. "Didn't you have a one-piece before?"

Shizuru chuckled at her, equally heedless of the situation - and more confused at Natsuki's reaction than anything. "I had to back then - my mark was on my stomach." She pointed to the area on her left side where it had been. Then she narrowed her eyes at the girl, " _You_ should have been more careful."

Natsuki crossed her arms in a pout, prying her eyes away from the lithe, barely clothed body looming over her. "Whatever! No talking about the past!"

"Yes, yes," Shizuru smiled innocently.

"Alright, everyone!" Midori clapped her hands while walking through the crowd up to the water's edge. "It's taken us a while, but this place is finally geared up like a proper summer camp! Our first game:" she announced, standing in front of a portable chalkboard which was currently covered by her mantle. "Is not just about strength or speed, but you need your wits!" And, with a flourish, she unveiled the sign reading: _Treasure Hunt_.

The crowd of girls murmured curiously amongst each other.

"Each step begins with a riddle. If you and your teammate can't figure it out, you can either forfeit, or press your luck and choose a random direction to go in. If that happens, your speed and strength may just well end up carrying you in the wrong direction."

"How do we know who wins?" Nao asked, already determined to beat anyone at anything in a competition.

"We'll only know once every team is back." Midori answered, lifting a small bag from under her cloak. "Once you're out there, the riddles connect to each other in a web, but everyone gets their own starting riddle from this bag. Whoever brings back the most items is the winner."

"Which, I'm sure," Natsuki followed, "Is just as convoluted as it sounds."

"Hey…" the teacher whined - although she did not deny it either.

Still, there was a positive response all around and one by one, the girls walked up in pairs to get one of six folded papers from the bag. Shizuru took one for herself, but when she turned around to return to Natsuki out of sheer habit, Mikoto was once again standing right behind her. She stared down in confused silence, but couldn't fight the girl's contagious grin. "I suppose I did make you a promise."

"Mm!" Mikoto nodded vigorously, grabbing the older girl by the arm.

"What did you promise her?" Natsuki asked, sidling up to the unexpected duo.

"That she would play with us today!" Mikoto answered for her, although Shizuru's clearer explanation followed quickly.

"Mikoto-chan wants to make sure I stick to my word, it seems." She cocked her head to the side in a teasing manner. "You won't be too lonely without me, will you?"

"Hmph!" Natsuki huffed, smirking broadly. "I'll be fine with Mai. _You're_ the one who just got herself into an afternoon of herding cats."

Shizuru held her ground, poised and confident. "She's _one_ cat. I'm sure I'll manage."

* * *

 _One girl._ Shizuru corrected her past self while wiping the sweat from her brow after climbing over a fallen tree nearly an hour later. _But… many cats._ At this point, she wasn't sure if she should consider her teammate an advantage or a handicap. Sure, Mikoto was fast and capable of traversing the forest canopy - a skill that and gotten them a treasure tied to a high branch on more than one occasion. But Shizuru tired more quickly, especially under the stress of not only trying to solve the riddles with intellect, but making sure her teammate stayed out of any real danger.

She counted the strips of paper and knick knacks they had collected over the course of their treasure hunt. It seemed like a lot for only an hour into the game, but there was no way to be sure until they returned to compare with the other teams. "The other teams…" she mused aloud, but came back to attention at the sound of twigs crunching underfoot. Crimson eyes blinked and the girl came to a swift halt. _We haven't crossed paths with anyone in twenty minutes!_

"Mikoto-chan!" Shizuru called up to the leaves. After some rustling, the girl appeared above her - still perched on a branch, but attentive and curious. "Have you seen anyone else from up there?"

"Nope!" Mikoto shook her head, then smiled. "We must be winning!"

" _The riddles connect to each other in a web."_ Shizuru recalled, then looked back the way they had come. _In order to keep the hunt contained in one area… If we haven't been crossing anyone it means…_ "We're outside the web."

"Hm?" Mikoto cocked her head to the side.

"We aren't winning," Shizuru tried to smile, although it became increasingly nervous the more she thought - not only about being lost herself, but also losing Mikoto while in her care. "We're… lost." She groaned, sitting herself down on another fallen log to rest her legs and feet. Her smile faded as the anxiety took over. The things people would say if they didn't return soon. Having to explain the situation to them. What would happen if-

"Noooooo!" Mikoto's whine cut off her spiralling thoughts. "Then we'll miss the fireworks!"

"... Fireworks?" Shizuru turned to the girl, who now dangled her legs off the branch but whose expression seemed even more crestfallen than her own at the prospect of not having fireworks. A fear which, in its simplicity, did seem far worse than being lost at this moment. Furthermore, at the mention of it, she recalled the day of their arrival when she and Fumi had brought in the luggage and supplies. "I… don't think we brought fireworks."

"What?!" Mikoto looked on the verge of tears for a split second before scrunching her her face in a glare at nothing in particular. "How could they plan a beach trip without fireworks?"

"Indeed." Shizuru chuckled, sharing the girl's sentiment - even if it was buried under the stress of being lost at the moment. She closed her eyes for a moment - initially to collect her thoughts, but the focus alerted her to something of far greater value. She heard, at not to far a distance, the sound of cars. Her eyes shot open and she looked in the direction of the sound, then, a few seconds later, another vehicle had gone by, confirming it. _We're near the road!_ "Mikoto-chan, follow me."

It wasn't long before they reached the forest's edge. Shizuru sighed with relief at the sight of civilization again, although Mikoto landing next to her covered in twigs and mud was a blatant reminder of just how far they had inadvertently wandered. "Can you tell which way the cabin is?" She asked, pulling a few stray leaves from the messy black hair.

Mikoto looked around, her focused eyes giving the impression she was actively searching her memory for the correct direction. So much so that, when she finally pointed somewhere, Shizuru thought she was witnessing a miracle of survival skills.

The elder girl beamed with excitement for a second, only to be smacked deadpan when she saw that Mikoto was, in fact, pointing to a convenience store with a massive inflatable ice cream ad in it's gravel parking lot. And before she could do anything about it, Mikoto was already running towards it, smiling and laughing.

Shizuru followed hastily, finding relief upon entering the air conditioned establishment. She then felt what was quickly becoming a familiar tugging on her sleeve. And - as she predicted - she looked down to see Mikoto staring at her, then over to where the frozen snacks were kept, and back again with an increasingly desperate and hopeful gaze. "What would Mai say?"

Mikoto considered it. "Mai would say… 'Only one thing!'", after a moment's thought, the realization seemed to dawn on her only just then. "Ah! But Mai isn't here! So-"

"One thing." Shizuru shot her a stern look.

"Aww…" Mikoto made a few futile attempts to persuade her honorary caregiver for the day, but it was no use and she accepted the inevitability that she was to only choose one thing.

In the meantime, Shizuru walked up to the counter and began discussing directions with the shopkeeper. She was pleased to find out that they had not gone far at all - it only felt that way because they had been crisscrossing their path for the majority of the hunt. She followed the hand drawn map as it was explained to her, then thanked the man for his help and put it in her pocket just in time for a massive pile of snacks to be dropped in front of her.

Shizuru turned to a grinning Mikoto. "What happened to 'just one'?."

"I did get just one!" she answered with a childish pout before counting off each item. "Mai likes strawberry, so I got one for her. Nao and Midori like chocolate, so I got one chocolate for each of them. Sister likes…"

Shizuru followed along as the girl listed off each and every one of them, along with their favourite flavours - sometimes multiple, but, as promised, she only took one. _She thought of everyone._ A smile crept onto her face. _She gets along with everyone._

"I got an extra matcha for you. Everyone says you like tea?" Mikoto ended, but with an inquisitive stare which implied it was more of a question to be answered.

Shizuru felt warmth - happiness - spread out from her chest. Her smile grew wider and, even if it only were to happen once - here and now - she let out an innocent laugh of pure joy. "Thank you." She finally said, once again patting the girl on the head, "You're right, this _is_ my favourite flavour."

"Yay!" Mikoto then, suddenly, jumped at her, wrapping her arms around herinan excited and tight embrace.

 _I'm... part of everyone too._ Shizuru reminded herself, much like Natsuki had done the day before they left. Her laugh turned from joy to dumbfounded - directed at herself - until it died down completely. "Thank you, Mikoto-chan." She said again, "I'm glad we ended up taking this detour. Even if it means we won't win the treasure hunt."

Mikoto nodded, happily taking a bite out of her ice cream. But as they were about to pay for the snacks and leave, Shizuru nudged her on the shoulder.

"Aren't we forgetting something?" She grinned, then nodded over to where the seasonal fireworks for sale were displayed. Before she knew it, Mikoto had bounded over to them and began collecting as many as she could carry. All the while, The shopkeeper tallied the prices along with the ice creams. Once everything had been piled into a bag, Shizuru paid the man, thanked him again for the directions, and the two exited the shop.

* * *

Back at the beach, the groups had all been gathered around Midori to tally their winnings. It was only for fun at this point, there was both a clear winner _and_ clear runner up who had returned half a stride too late.

"They're the only team not back yet." Natsuki muttered aloud, practically glaring at the forest's edge while drumming her fingers on the back of her forearm.

"Mikoto's a proud feline who listens to no one," Nao interjected snarkily, "Not an easily trained dog."

"Shut it!" the ebony-haired girl turned, narrowing her eyes at her. "You think just because you won by a split second today you're gonna talk down to me the rest of the trip?"

"Hmph. I'd rather not talk to you at all."

"Then start now." Natsuki huffed again and went back to watching the trees for any sign of movement.

Yet the unlikely pair did not return via the woods, but along the gravel path which descended from the driveway. Their smiles and laughter - despite being dead last - commanded the curious attention of the others. Mikoto had climbed up onto Shizuru's shoulders, but her small frame was easily carried. Each was still eating their ice cream, and in Shizuru's other hand, she carried the bag of treats and fireworks.

"We got a bit distracted." She said sheepishly upon arriving, and then knelt down to allow Mikoto to hop onto the sand. "Hopefully this makes up for it?" Shizuru held out the bag, and Mikoto took it from her then went off to hand out the snacks they brought back.

Natsuki sighed with relief. "And here I thought you got lost chasing her in the woods."

"That happened too." Shizuru replied, but with not the slightest hint of annoyance. In fact, she seemed rather grateful for it. She observed Mikoto's generous delivery of gifts - and her slight bout of envy bloomed into inspiration. "I can see why everyone gets along with her."

Natsuki smiled, following her gaze toward the others for a moment before sneaking a glance beside her. "This is the first time I've seen you really happy in a while. So, are you finally glad you came?"

"Yes," Shizuru answered, laughing a little. "It took a while, I admit. This is new for me, and it feels strange. But you were right."

"Hm?"

Shizuru closed her eyes peacefully. "I think… I might actually belong here."

* * *

A/N: It's honestly very strange writing things a) solely from one person's perspective, and b) Shizuru specifically. I've always used Natsuki to write her growth, so this is a challenge for me! But it also makes things weird. This whole story could be written over and over for each character going through this vacation, I just chose to focus on her POV because I felt like it. My point is, personally I'm finding it weird to not touch on what the "background" characters are doing - but just know that even if they aren't even mentioned by name, everyone is present and doing stuff and having their own little story.

Chapter art on twitter: /notori0922/status/1032388930597879808


	5. Past Kindnesses

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai HiME.

A/N: My brain said "Akane likes to knit" and here we are.

 **V - Past Kindnesses**

It seemed as though - to balance preferences within the group - the day portion of the trip was divided into ones with planned outdoor activities and those more laid back and casual. It isn't to say that a decent portion of the HiMEs didn't choose to partake in the beach leisure on their own, but on days like today, Shizuru really did enjoy the time to read. And unlike when she had been doing so in the middle of the night, she realized her introversion wasn't hers alone.

Across from where she sat on the couch, in the single chair, Akane was calmly knitting what appeared to be a scarf. Shizuru went back to reading, but continually glanced up to see the girl - unperturbed by the silence between them - smiling as she worked on her project. _A scarf…?_ She questioned, although the thought of wearing even more layers in this summer weather had her sweating already.

And, of all things to say, her brain decided to open conversation with: "Aren't you hot?"

Akane looked up, surprised she had been spoken to at all.

"I just mean, knitting a scarf in summer," Shizuru corrected herself nervously. "I was curious."

The brunette chuckled, realizing that it must have indeed looked strange. "No, no, I'm fine. But this pattern is intricate and I want it to be done in time for winter."

Shizuru looked at it a bit more closely, "Ah! It is! And it looks lovely. Is it a gift?"

At that, Akane blushed a furious shade of red and retreated further into the cushioning. "Mm. For Kazu-kun."

Kazuya was not famous for much in the academy - save for his cover story that never got rectified. Forever in his - and Akane's - files would it read "attempted to elope, then came to their senses." Shizuru remembered being the one to enter that information into the system - believing it to be true until the truth came out. _I suppose that record is slightly preferable to "Came back from the dead."._

She found herself smiling at the timid way Akane said his name, but resisted teasing her about it so soon into conversation. "I'm sure he'll love it."

"You think?" she brightened.

"Of course," Shizuru answered, "You made it with love after all. And Winter is such a romantic season, don't you think?"

"I agree!"

"You only say that because your birthday is in December and you like the cold." Natsuki interjected as she came down from the stairs on her way to the kitchen.

"And _you_ only say that because you were born in the peak of Summer and it stuck with your for life, apparently." Shizuru retorted, straightening her back. "Besides, the cold gives opportunities for finding warmth in the company of others, as in, with hand-knitted clothing."

She and Akane nodded together, leaving Natsuki to roll her eyes and continue on her original trajectory toward the fridge. There was a flicker of silence then, before Akane had been brought out of her shell completely, overcome by the desire to have girl-talk with the elusive former-Kaichou.

"Did you ever make something like this for Kanzaki-senpai?" Akane asked, grinning innocently.

"For Reito-kun?" Shizuru raised an eyebrow. "We've never exchanged gifts… Although I did get him some giri choco* the first year we worked together."

Akane blinked curiously at her, and then at the sounds of muffled laughter coming from the kitchen. She looked back to Shizuru. "What did you two do for holidays then?"

"Hm… He would go home since his family lives nearby - I think. I stayed in the dorms because it was easier than traveling to Kyoto and back." She offered a confused smile. "Why the sudden interest?"

Again, Akane was brought to a silent thought process as she attempted to put the information together. She looked away, then back, then away again, until finally settling her focus back on her project. "I was just curious what it was like to date him."

" _There it is_." Natsuki sing-songed over the sound of boiling water.

Shizuru's eyes went wide with surprise, and then amusement as laughter took over. She nearly doubled over. "We never dated!"

"What? Really?" Akane was just as surprised. "But everyone said-"

"Rumours, rumours," the elder girl waved her hand dismissively. "I honestly don't know how it started. Maybe they liked the idea of it - given our positions on the student council. But no, we never dated. Colleagues and friends - only - I assure you."

Akane recoiled slowly as embarrassment overtook her. "I-I'm sorry."

Shizuru continued to laugh. "Don't be. Everyone thought it. Eventually it got too tiresome to actively deny it so we gave up." She shrugged, then pondered it for a moment. "Didn't he ask Mai-san to the festival?"

"Hm? When did-"

Natsuki dropped her ladle into the pot with her swift return to the living room. Halting Akane's question by grabbing Shizuru's shoulder. "That was a crazy night!" She forced her words, all the while doing her best not to break any rules. "But even though Reito asked her out in front of the whole school, Akane missed it. Weird, huh?" Jade eyes narrowed onto Shizuru's confused stare and didn't waver until she reeled back upon understanding.

"Ah," Shizuru collected herself, refraining from putting her foot in her mouth any further. "He did ask her but, in any case, I don't know what happened after. Only that it didn't work out between them." She was lightly patted on her arm - as if to assure her she did a good job - by Natsuki before the girl returned to the abandoned cooking.

It was unclear whether or not Akane knew what Natsuki had interrupted. But she _did_ immediately return to the previous topic with a light-hearted giggle. "I can see how it started. You two look so good together. It's too bad it was only a rumour."

"It's for the best that it never happened." Shizuru added, rather confidently before taking a sip of her tea.

"What? I think you would make a great couple!"

"I doubt it." The former-Kaichou indulged Akane's innocent, girlish curiosity - stringing her along with a smile.

"Why do you say that?"

Natsuki couldn't help but observe from the dining room table where she now sat with a bowl of ramen. She was quiet, but the moment it took Shizuru to respond was faster than she expected.

The eldest girl closed her book and set it on the cushion next to her, then leaned forward with her chin resting in the heel of her palm - all the while making direct eye contact with Akane. "Because I have a rather exclusive preference for girls."

"... Eh?" Akane blinked, "Oh…" She unconsciously began looking between Shizuru's playful smirk and Natsuki's surprised stare. "Oh!" Then, as if a lightbulb went off above her head, she pointed back and forth at them, mouth agape. "Then… you two are…?"

Shizuru's mischievousness immediately retreated upon the sound of Natsuki's spoon dropping into her bowl. Fear overtook what was amusement only a split second ago. "We're just friends!"

"It's complicated!" Natsuki blurted out.

Although they replied in unison, they gave Akane more questions than answers. "I... see."

Shizuru's head spun around behind her, doubting she had hear Natsuki correctly. Except the fact that the girl wouldn't meet her eyes told her she wasn't mistaken. _What do you mean 'it's complicated'?_

"I mean," Natsuki tried to fix what she had started. "I didn't know you were telling people."

"It's bound to come out at some point. I'd prefer to beat gossip and tell people on my own, should the opportunity present itself." Shizuru turned back to Akane, collected, but with the hint of genuine concern in her question: "Does it bother you?"

"N-no! I was just surprised!" Akane's nervous chuckle brought them back to reality. "Sorry. It looks like I touched on something I shouldn't have." Then, to the pair's surprise, she gave them an earnest smile. "But if you have things to talk about, then it's a good thing you both decided to come here."

* * *

… _Is what she said but…_ Hours had passed since the conversation earlier this morning. The three had gone their separate ways, and now Shizuru was here - sitting at the water's edge with her feet in the surf. _Natsuki's never been one to talk about things. More one who takes action first._ She leaned back on her palms, taking a breath and trying to relax her thoughts. _Besides… The Golden Rule keeps us from discussing anything that happened during the Carnival. And Natsuki said herself that she thinks it would be good for us to not talk about it now._

"Ah! There you are!"

Shizuru turned toward the voice, recognizing it - once again - as Akane's. It was curious to her, how someone she'd never really was aware of had - out of nowhere - conversed with her twice in one day. But the girl was pleasant, so Shizuru had no complaints about it. In fact, a part of her warmed at the implication that she had been sought after. She smiled at her, then joked, "Was I missing?"

Akane returned the expression, "No, but I was looking for you. If you weren't with Kuga-san then I'm glad I got you alone." She scowled. "But you really should be with her!"

Shizuru reeled back, hiding a gulp at the sudden intensity in her expression. "By that… you mean…?"

" _Talking_ to her. Not staring out at the water with a sad look in your eyes." Akane plopped herself down in the sand, letting the fire cool from her voice. "But, since you _are_ alone. I wanted to thank you."

Shizuru raised an eyebrow, but silently let the girl continue.

"Do you remember how she was in middle school? Always angry, or fighting, or… something?"

The older girl laughed under her breath. "It seems like so long ago now. But, I do."

Akane smiled at her again. "It's because of you that she's kind now." She tilted her head back, gazing at the sky. "She doesn't make a show of it, but Kuga-san is always thinking of others. She…" her sentence drifted off as she searched her brain for words that would not break any rules. "She saved my life. And I don't think she would have become the type of person to do what she did for me if not for the time she spent with you."

Shizuru felt herself smiling at that, even if she didn't truly feel she deserved credit for Natsuki's behaviour, it made her happy all the same to be reminded it was there. "... You're right." She let herself say aloud. "She's much kinder than she appears. Even _I_ forget that sometimes."

The two ended up falling into a comfortable silence then - one which inevitably lightened the atmosphere around them. Shizuru still looked out to the water, but with an admiration of its beauty rather than a sinking sadness. She didn't mind that Akane sat with her, also silent, and in fact was pleased to know that she hadn't scared the girl off earlier. _She wasn't a part of the Carnival…_ Shizuru thought to herself. _She might be the only person here not guilty of anything._

Before her thoughts could spiral into the past, however, Akane turned to her with the same bright-eyed look she had when she was a split second away from mentioning Kazuya.

"So, what do you like about her?" Akane beamed, leaning closer with her hands clasped over her lap.

"What?" Shizuru instinctively leaned back to maintain the gap between them, then blinked in confusion.

"You know! What is it about Kuga-san that makes your heart race?"

 _Are- Are we actually having this conversation?_ Shizuru gulped, looking away for a moment. "I… I suppose-"

"Come on," Akane urged, "It's just us."

A crimson eye narrowed suspiciously at her. "Is this the type of girl talk you were trying to get at earlier?"

The brunette chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. "Yeah. That was embarrassing. I'm sorry for just assuming."

"It's alright, really."

They shared another laugh. The whole encounter - this whole day - was not one Shizuru could have predicted when she chose to come on this trip. And yet here she was: sitting on the beach with a kind almost-stranger who was, it seemed, legitimately interested in her affections for Natsuki. A comforted sigh left her lips as the answer to the girl's question surfaced in her thoughts. "... Everything."

"Hm?"

"I like… everything about her. Even parts other people don't like, or she doesn't like about herself. They - somehow - also bring me joy. It makes me happy to see her as a complete person, so those "flaws" somehow don't really end up being flaws at all." Just barely, her lip quivered. "I was just as alone as she was when we met, only no one knew it. Except I think she could tell, and so - much to her reluctance - we became friends."

"And now…?" Akane leaned in again. "Are you _really_ just friends?"

Shizuru's fist clenched into the sand, out of view. "What we are in factual reality… may differ slightly from what hangs in the air over us. I would say that yes, we're just friends, but that the story doesn't end there."

"Mm…" Akane sat back down onto the sand and smiled again. "Then, I hope your story has a happy ending."

* * *

A/N: *Giri Choco is like… the "obligation chocolate" given by women to men on Valentine's Day, but the inexpensive type that co-workers will give to each other. (Honmei choco is the expensive kind you would give to along with a love confession).

I've got to let myself relax about this story and let myself write shorter, more to-the-point, chapters like this. This story is not meant to be an epic. It's a collection of short "episodes" in their trip.


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